Writing...

Okay. I've been trying to write...again. I started with two small pieces. I say "piece" because calling this writing "poetry" just seems so trite or maybe even pretentious. I can write innocuously about locations, opinions, and God's creations. Unfortunately, writing that is completely based upon my imagination... Well, that leaves me feeling naked and vulnerable. In all honesty, I have decided to post these two pieces now because my blog has been left stagnant for near six months now; and, I am a coward who is hoping that if anyone reads this, at all, they will be disturbed or distorted enough to actually enjoy or identify with this:

My passion
My light... it dies out only to come back like wind to the embers
It all remains hot ash until the sound of leaves rustle and the trees sway
Then it's there... it's coming back to life.

The pain submerges, the hurts allowed
the anger drowns but with it my soul
that extra part of me that is so fraught... so charged with life

let the leaves blow
let the trees sway
let the tide roll and let the earth quake

I'm alive
I sing, I laugh, I paint, I write, I am

nothing can stop me now as I soar
I fly high above the treetops that swayed in my awakening
the leaves swirl around me in a tornado of excitement at my arrival
the waves lap at my feet as I dance upon the the shoreline

Yet again, I have arrived.

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The weight holds me down
It pushes, suppresses, maligns
I wave my hand above the water
I see my face and stretch towards it

I push back
I trudge
I press away the mire and rebuke the resistance
I fought so hard to push the monster into the dark
only to find the best parts of me sacrificed

Me, that person... her – she fights
water trickles like the soft keys of a piano and I swim
I break the crest and I breath I breath again

before I slept as if in a daze
I could hear and see but could not take part in my dreams

now I walk amongst the other dreamers only now I take command
now I imagine, I dance
now I write the pages instead of turning themselves
i have awakened.

Let me sleep no more
let me listen to the soft tinkering of the piano as the trickling water turns into crashing waves and washes the darkness away only to leave the light

cleanse me make me not new but what I was meant to be
leave me being... me
who I am
I am awakened

my heart sings, my hand writes, my soul paints the portrait that is my life